You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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