Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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