So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
