Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
