he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
