Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
