You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize