The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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