every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize