Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
