Don't you send me to vm
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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