just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
