Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
