I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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