if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
