On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
