Plan B is the new Plan A
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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