We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
