We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When are your genitals available?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
