I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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