If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
