why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
