I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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