well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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