Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
