Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Randomize