so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
