I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
