There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
