Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
