we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
handjob tips. give me some.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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