I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
