Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
sarcasm needs its own font
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
