Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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