just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
