Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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