I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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