I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
