barbara walters just said penis...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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