Got a toothbrush?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
