We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
