you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
false alarm, still single
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