Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
