just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize