Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
