She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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