bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
