Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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