you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
