dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize