He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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