I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize