She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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