How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize