I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
