Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
