drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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