watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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