Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
