I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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