Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you never un-have a 4some
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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