I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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