i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
