I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
