Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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