my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
