i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
