So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
