Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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