btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
