it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
