theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize