Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Define "chronic" masturbator.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
