don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
