I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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