something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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